Grooveshark

In light of Foo Fighters’ releasing their hilarious tour rider that refers to Dave Grohl as “that guy from Nirvana”, we started investigating what other musicians demanded on their tour rider. While we expected to find outlandish requests ranging from “only green m&m’s” to “cocaine”, most tour riders were surprisingly tame. Apparently “water” is a popular request, and we’re not even talking about obscure arctic cave water either. Most so called “rock stars” seem content to drink that generic crap, which was strangely unsettling to me.

Some artists go against the politeness grain and exercise their right to request strange items that no sane person actually needs in bulk. Because we’re committed to bringing you the most relevant and important information in music (subtext: it’s a slow day in music), we scoured the internet to compile some of the best rock star tour riders out there.

John Mayer

I tried to imagine what would be on a John Mayer tour rider and concluded that he would have a lot of normal stuff and then throw in something zany for color. Well, I was kind of right, as Mayer “Kids Brand Cereal” that includes Lucky Charms, Count Chocula, Cookie Crisp, etc. Apparently the cereal causes halitosis because Mayer also requests an inordinate amount of breath mints, toothbrushes, and a bottle of Listerine.

Meat Loaf

Despite convincing evidence to the contrary (hello AT&T commercial with Tiffany), Meat Loaf bills himself as a “worldwide superstar artist”. We’re not sure if this rider is from 1981, but it’s almost exactly how you would imagine. Lots of food, bottles of expensive wine, and cracker jacks. Dude must have like 500 decoder rings at this point.

Prince

Apparently Prince makes out like a bandit at his shows. He requires tables to be set up around the venue so that he can properly store the gifts his fans will undoubtedly shower on him. He also has a medicine man on call, which is a far cry from when he used to require a medical professional to administer a B-12 shot before his shows.

Sting

For some reason I assumed that Sting’s tour rider would be full of outlandish requests like “books about Tantra” and “Enya performing live in the other room”. Sting’s backstage area should be a mecca for prolonged sex sessions and bland, new age poetry recitals. It isn’t though. In fact, Sting is kind of a wuss when it comes to making demands. He asks for “the best of what’s available”. I would imagine that backfires in Boise, Idaho.

Clarence Clemons

Springsteen’s sax player Clarence Clemons asks for a whole chicken to be delivered to his dressing room DURING the concert. They don’t call him “The Big Man” for nothing.

Hanson

The Brothers Hanson need some high end beer to conjure the proper intensity for an acoustic gig. However, when they play one of those face meltingly rocking electric shows that they’re known for, they keep it mellow with some soy milk. We saw them after one of their electric shows at SXSW this year and they seemed pretty content to knock back the New Castles. Whoever forgot the soy milk is so fired.

Styx

They ask for gummie bears. Maybe they were cooler than I thought.

50 Cent

Fried chicken, Hennesy, and illegal Cuban cigars…the staple of a healthy diet. I guess if you’ve been shot 9 times you kind of throw caution to the wayside.

Limp Bizkit

An “apartment vibe” and their career back.

• Posted in All of The Rest